Tuesday, 19 August 2014
On my mind. Some experiences I have had and seen over many years with family and acquaintance who have had mental health issues.
Is it hard for you to handle?
It is hard for them too.
Do you want to withdraw your support and walk away because it isn't nice?
Standing by them and for them is what they need now, not your withdrawal.
Do you want them removed from your problem list?
Would you want someone to stand by you if it was you with the same problem?
Would you kick your son or husband or sister or mother out of home because you don't know what else to do?
Do you think that will make them wake up to themselves?
It won't , it will isolate them and make them feel worse.
Won't they do it the way you believe it should be done anymore?
Well ask yourself, am I the centre of the world and should everyone do it my way at all times.
Do you know their current behavior isn't all directed at you?
If it made you feel bad then you can bet it made them feel worse.
It isn't fun is it, it isn't nice, it isn't funny anymore putting up with their behavior?
No it is not!
Do you recognize that their strange behavior is because of the problem and they will return to more logical thinking when they are well again?
It may, but with help......?
Do you recognize that the problem may return at times of extreme stress?
Would you treat someone with cancer the same way or give them sympathy and support such as you feel you are unable to do with that mental health patient?
For Sue, Pete, Mike, Sandra, Suna, Jude, Mum and many others and maybe even me at times.
I love you, but it isn't easy to like.
I know mental illness is debilitating and isolating and I am learning.
I may not always get it right but I am trying to understand.
Thursday, 5 June 2014
I have been thinking this morning. At times a silly thing to do. I think today I should have an absolute no people day. Why?
Well I have been thinking about the personality traits of the people I know.
There are the ones who want to dominate.
They will share their knowledge , which is really a good thing to do. But sometimes they are the only ones who know anything, or think they do, and with that knowledge they need to prove that they know more than you do and choose to contradict you at every turn and bash you over the head with their knowledge. They are the teachers. They don't understand when you withdraw.
There are the cur dogs. They want to dominate. They do it by being sneaky and by throwing tantrums because they know that you will withdraw to keep the peace and shut them up by giving them their own way. They are the sort that will use underhanded methods to get their own way. Like a dog who fears to lose it's pack position so it sneaks around the back of the shed and up behind you to nip you unexpectedly to warn you off and let you know it is the boss.
There are the fickle ones. They want to dominate via seducing the ones they feel are the most interesting. They only have an interest in you when there is nobody better, or smarter or prettier. Then you are no longer important to them and they dump you to move on to the next person.
There are the needers. They maybe feel that they are doing the wrong thing and want to tell you all about it so you can tell them they are okay and doing the right thing. They keep you running in circles trying to find a solution to their woes , none of which they are willing to accept or create change to accomplish. They aren't interested in listening to you, they just want you to listen to them.
Then there are the dumb ones. They aren't dumb, they just want to get everyone else to do their work for them.They forget so you have to constantly go over and, repeat again and again, until it becomes easier to just do it all yourself. They just want to be looked after.
There are the takers. They take and take in every area they can. They want to take but never give.Goods, services, emotions, finances. They give a little but expect a lot to be returned.
The truth is the title word "symbiosis" is what makes the world go around. You have to give and you have to take, hopefully the cogs turn and mesh. Sometimes unevenly.
Sometimes, when you sit and think though, you recognize all of these traits within yourself, not just in others.
Sometimes though you also realize that the people around you never will.
Definitely need a no people day today.
Saturday, 8 February 2014
It has been almost a year since I have written anything in here due to my disgust in the advertising bull shit and spam that now fills my comments. I hate these.
Anyway, since I have been in here so little this post is an update for my own benefit, as I doubt anyone else would read it now days anyway......
In the past year I have settled into our own home again. It is so good to have a patch of dirt that belongs to us again and feel the security of knowing (a!l being well) that the place where I live is safe from some other person selling the property out from underneath us as happened previously in rented premises
My garden is growing and filling in with flowers. I get a lot of pleasure from being able to grow and harvest some of my own fruit, vegetables and herbs. I have chooks again, three lovely Australorp hens who give me enough eggs and some to share. There have been successes as well as failures with the selection and sometimes placement of plants, likewise with my dogs and chooks decimating certain plants and I have had to build fences and cages for some plants to try to protect them.
I have met up and spent time with old friends and family whom I love. It has shown me just how much we need others in our lives.
I am stepping out and making myself useful in the community which has led me to new contacts and friendships. One of these involvements has been with "The Wagga Sensory gardens " I started going there to try to help maintain and develop the garden. When I started in about March of this year it was a dry,dead, weedy place. I weeded, watered, carted mulch, scavenger for plants and made garden beds for them to go into. When the hot weather started I was skeptical that I would be able to continue. They got funding there for a 10 session horticultural course, which finished just a few weeks ago. Since then the gardens have come a long way in their development. We now have more garden beds, manpower came from the course participants and a watering system has been installed which covers much of the developed area of the gardens. I organized a group of people from the course to come along to the gardens with me on a Friday morning to work there. We sit and chat and have morning tea there as well.
As part of my involvement with the sensory garden I went along to another garden here in town, the demonstration gardens in Shaw street. This garden is a community style garden, run on a permaculture basis . I have learned quite a lot since going along there from the man and his wife who run it. I feel that more new friends have been made through my going there as well. They asked me to go on their commitee and I have agreed but as yet feel I haven't really co tributes much there. They have a wood fired bread oven built in there that I am interested playing in, I have made some nice DTE scones one morning there at one of their baki g days, but as far as yeast cookery goes, I have a lot to learn.
An old friend who I have been blessed with her return to my life has also gotten me involved with her work in Landcare. I have been going out to spend time with her and we plan seeds of local native plants and grasses that go back into the environment and to regional farms to restock their land with local species, sometimes even grown from seed collected on their own properties. I have learned to prick out miniscule seedlings that with love and care will turn into huge big eucalyptus trees, and tiny sedges that can be used to hold river and creek and dam banks together and which provide vital shelter for native birds and fish. I ha e planted wildflowers that blew away when it got windy but I still had their tiny seeds pop up and grow to a size, able to be handled and pricked out into larger pots to grow on. Worthy practices me thinks.
I have been back to the potter's club here, my old stomping ground. We just finished an exhibition in the local council art gallery here. I didn't really have a hand in the organization of it but the few items I put in for exhibition went well with a few nice sales of some of my work.
I guess there is quite a bit I have achieved during the past year. Personally and work wise.
I get bored, I get busy, I get cranky, I am happy with me, I have been broke, such is life eh!
I am still kicking and I am growing.
The coming year has some exciting events for me to move towards.
O.K. that's all this post.
Saturday, 6 April 2013
Not much of a blogger of late. I haven't been in here much. Which was somewhere I chose to release my creativity in the past.
Ah! the joys of parenthood, laced with the results of becoming the parent of a parent, and savignon blanc mixed with those stresses.
My Mum is now 90 years old and has been living with my husband Pete and I for the last 6 months. Taking turns as her carer over the last 12 years or so since my Dad died. She has been increasingly difficult to handle. Hence the comment " Parent of a parent." Increasing hearing problems which she refuses to acknowledge. Resulting in complete self absorption and regularly occurring tantrums. Today was a classic example. I tried to talk to her and reason to no avail, resulting in her admission that it was all my fault for being selfish and not giving her everything she wants and her own way at all times. Or; words to that effect. Today I asked her to put in her hearing aids, which was very obviously an enticement of my abuse and her tantrum. The latest of a probably fortnightly occurrence of her tantrums. So she hides in her bedroom after telling me what she thinks of me and refuses to eat, drink, or communicate despite my attempts to placate her. I know the drill and the resultant behaviors well now. AHHH, I just want to scream!!!!!
I am so proud of the two of them. Being so young and making the step of home ownership at their ages. A proud achievement.So, the above pic is of the mining museum at Kalgoorlie. it was once a real mine, as the derrick at the fore front or the museum attests.
While we were there we purchased a hire car which enabled us to drive around tow and make several side trips. One of which was outside or Kalgoorlie to a small mining outpost of Ora Banda. Interesting place. Ostensibly being a mining outpost consisting or not much else than a local pub. We went there to have lunch. Very interesting. Most interesting to me though, on that trip was the marvelous diversity of vegetation in comparison to the bush we see back here on the eastern side in Australia which is mostly cleared farmlands and very different vegetation. The trees over there, absolutely marvelous. The salmon gums with their pink/ orange smooth bark and leaves which seem to sparkle in the sun. And the slightly smaller gimlet. Another type of eucalyptus which has a bronze colored bark.They also seem to sparkle and reflect the sunlight, I guess to reflect back the heat that is endemic to that harsh outback landscape. The understory of plants in that area is wonderful too, although at the time we were visiting, the famous western Australian wildflowers were not in full bloom, we did have a lesser display of flowers to ogle over. They are so different and diverse compared to what there is on the eastern side of the country.
While we were there, another side trip was to a viewing area of a huge salt lake which encompassed another mining town. Amazing place. Red soil and rocks glimmering in the sun overlooking a huge flat salt pan. A place called K
Saturday, 23 February 2013
The pink oleander, the salvia and the 2 old neglected roses are all that was worth keeping in here.
My old friend Jeanette came for a visit the other day. She and I started pottery lessons together almost 30 years ago now. I moved away to Urana and left her behind. We knew each others children as babies and toddlers. Now our children are grown, she has grand children and both her girls are married. I am now officially an empty-nester for the first time in 30 and a half years. Strange how the years can pass, then when we met up again, via face book, she came to visit and the years seemed to disappear. We clicked back in together. As she said "We are lifetime friends". Anyway, she is now a horticultural teacher. She advised me that this bed would make a better vege garden that the other bed I had planned to put my vegetables in. So as I had planted some plants in here already, and didn't want to remove them. I decided to mix the two in together. There are now, spring onions, parsley, rocket and silver beet planted in here. They seem to be doing well, especially the silver beet which seems to have doubled in size in just a few weeks. I fed the soil this afternoon with dynamic lifter and had previously added worm juice when I did the plantings. My neighbors will hate me for stinking out their weekend, hehehe. Oh well it is only temporary.
I have also had a lovely visit from another friend with whom I worked. Alison, she bought me a house warming present, a pretty wire plant hanger with three herb pots in it for me to plant.
Other additions since moving into the house have been built in wardrobes. Which are greatly appreciated because now I have storage.
The broken air conditioner has at last been fixed. It took them 2 and a half months to do. I got very angry with the business provider and made a few nasty phone calls before they actually handed the job over to another business and it was done a few short days afterwards. Grrr. I was really sick of their mode of operation. Seems they kept us at the bottom of their list for who knows what reason and we had to go to the solicitors to get things going.
Another pantry cupboard in the kitchen and a cupboard for the bathroom. White venetian blinds in all the front windows so they all match, the old ones were broken.
A new king size bed which is great. Pete's joke the first morning we slept in it was. "I was going to send you a text message to say good morning" because we were so far away from each other in the big bed.
We hope to soon have a solar electricity system installed on the roof. Just waiting for them to finalize things for us and come back to do the work. The system will provide most, but not all, of our energy needs with the option of any unused power that is made being sold back into the grid.
The other larger rose bush I pruned back to force it to flower may be a Mr Lincoln. A big strong crimson red rose. It has lots of small flowers on it at the moment. The flowers will continue to improve with feeding, watering and TLC.They will both be staying.
There were lots of horrible briar roses around the yard that I also removed. Also removed were the noxious weeds, privet, broom and cottoneaster. There is vinca in amongst some of the beds. It is an absolute pain to get rid of. It will take vigilance and work for that to happen.
A huge viburnum dominated one side of the yard. It was cut down but it's stump is like iron, you can't chop it with an axe it is so hard. We also tried digging and poisoning it but it has now begun to re-shoot, so I poisoned it a second time. Wayne, our next door neighbour has offered to help remove it, as he has a chainsaw and is the owner of the local sharpening business so can repair the chainsaw,( his words, not mine) Hahaha. He is a nice neighbour.
The lady on the other side of us is friendly but her husband has twice turned his back on us and won't acknowledge us. Go figure? Our conscience is clear, so I don't know what his problem is. Suffice to say, he won't get another chance to snub us.
The man across the road waves to us, but we haven't met him yet.
Wagga people are quite different to Canberra people. They walk down the street and look at each other. In the city people don't look each other in the face and talk in hushed voices. In Wagga they talk out loud and laugh together and stand around in the street talking. They dress and drive differently too.
There is a box in the shed that has several hundred bulbs in it to be replanted. We found them all over the yard, so there must once have been gardeners here. As the many garden beds attest to. I am hoping the bulbs are daffodils. They look like either daffodils or jonquils. I guess as they have been neglected for many years they may not flower for me the first year. I hope with feed, water and TLC they will flower the following year.
The pure whiteness of it lends the clay to become almost transparent when used thinly so it is good to use for candles, as the light will illuminate it and shine through. Lovely stuff.
I am now back at Wagga Potter's club as a member again. I went there to do my first duty day in the shop today. I have missed that place. They had the AGM a few weeks back. I took on the workshop person's job.
The Canberra potters society was great and I will miss my Thursday drop in group friends. It had government funding so the facilities there were extensive and I will miss that. But..... Wagga potters club is like an old friend to me. Some members have gone, some have stayed and there are a few new ones too. I made 6 small candle holder/tea light holder pots from imperial porcelain today. I hope they survive, I made them very thinly.
A very young Santa with an old child.
I have to get my baby car re-registered next week. It is such a nuisance changing registration from one state to another. I hope nothing needs fixing first, I may need to get 2 front tyres soon, but am hoping that they will let it pass the test.
This week we purchased plane tickets to go to Western Australia to visit our daughter Anne-Marie. We haven't seen her for a year so have been missing her. Having her move to the opposite side of the country was just too far out of reach for us. We travel next month. She lives in Kalgoorlie. She and her partner Jesse have just purchased their first house and only got the keys to it a couple of days ago. I am so proud of her, especially considering their ages. She always was a determined kid.
Summer is almost over. It has been hot and dry here where as in other parts of the eastern side of the country there has been catastrophic flooding closer to the coast and summers dreaded bushfires.
Gotta Love Australia.
P.S. Would the person/people who keep putting advertising on my blog comments Please Piss Off!
I am not interested and I will not follow the links you have added there. I advise anyone who reads my blog to also not open these links. They are a nuisance. I do not want them. Do not put them on here!
That's all for now.
Sunday, 6 January 2013
Has it really been 3 months since I have updated my Blog? Yes...... well as the date says.
Lots has happened since my last post.
Pete and I have bought a home of our own, back in Wagga Wagga. Canberra was too expensive for us to purchase a home and stay there so , yep we now have a home of our own again. A home of our own is something I have craved since giving up our home in Junee to move to Canberra 4 and a half years ago now. This time has been scary for me because to get a home of our own has meant a big change, using Pere's superannuation and the full amount of the proceeds from the sale of our Junee home plus a loan to make up the small difference in the price of this house. Plus leaving secure employment in Canberra where we were making a nice living to trade off for the purchase of this house. We are now both unemployed. Scary stuff eh.
Anyway, we have a house of our own again. We have been here for one week now.
So..... about the house!
It is a double brick cavity walled house in Wagga Wagga , which is the town I was born in , but haven't lived in for 28 years now. Probably built in the late 1940's by the look of it? 3 bedrooms, Lounge, dining and study area, very good sized rooms and a block of land a bit less than 900X 2 square mtrs in size. Solid as. So far we have erected a garden shed and done a few things to it, (mostly Pete's handiwork, which he has enjoyed doing.) See pic above. The soil looks good, the yard is quite overgrown and needs lots of work, but the inside of the house is pretty good. We have been waiting for the replacement of an air conditioner that is sorely needed ever since we have been here, there has been a monstrous heat wave across the southern part of Australia. The solicitor has told us that it will be actioned tomorrow, Monday, It better be. I hung the thermometer outside his afternoon on the clothes line in the back yard and the temperature showing on it came to 46 degrees Celsius. OUCH! Same is predicted for the rest of this week. I must be getting old because this has been unbearable.I had a drink this evening of diet cola and tullamore dew whiskey and now I just feel sick. Eeeeeewwwww. Afterwards a soak in the cold bathtub and a very light salad for the evening meal, but still feel yucky.
But....... onwards and upwards.
Last night here there was a spectacular dry storm, with lots of lightening and very few raindrops to accompany it. Scary stuff when it is so tinder dry as the lightening had the potential to start many fires.
We are both looking for work. My friend Nellie has offered me 6 hrs per week at her Cafe in the early mornings doing food preparation but that isn't enough to pay the bills. Though I am grateful of the work. It is a start. At least I have friends in Wagga , long term friends which certainly beats Canberra where I only had acquaintances.
O.K. other news. My eldest son has stayed in Canberra and is living with his girl, Amber, in a home unit.
My second boy is in Wagga and my lovely daughter is now living in Kalgoorlie which is on the other side of the country from me.
My Mum is back living with us here in Wagga, She had her 90th birthday a few months ago. She is feeling this heatwave terribly. She was quite sick from the heat last night. As I am tonight. We are taking care with her and keeping an eye on her. This broken air conditioner really sucks!!!.
I haven't started gardening here as yet though I have a nice collection of potted plants that I intend to transfer into garden beds later, it is too hot to do at at his time of year. I have requested a quote to clear the tangled mess of plants throughout the yard here. This seems he way to go at the moment as a bloke with a small backhoe would be able to clear gardens, trees and noxious weed stumps much easier that we could do and remove the debris as well for us, so that I could begin planning and planting when the weather cools down again.
Goodness When I was laying in the tub tonight I thought of all the good words that I should write to update and share in here tonight, but as I sit here at the keyboard they elude me.
It is soooo hot.
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Yep! You guessed it. Floriade is on here in Canberra again. It is a festival of spring time and her floral bounty. The displays this year, as for every year, astound me.
I always wonder how they time everything so beautifully to have the flowers last for the whole time the festival is on. Especially so, as there is always changeable weather in Canberra at this time of year. We can get everything from frosts to very warm dry days, strong winds and heavy rain with thunder storms.
The first pic above his text is of one of my favourite reasons to go to the botanic gardens in Canberra.He is a Gippsland water dragon. The day I took this picture was sunny but cold and I disturbed this little bloke as he was trying to warm himself in the sunshine near the information office and bookshop area. He tried to squeeze himself back between the rocks to hide from me. On warm days and during the summer these dragons are everywhere in the gardens but more prolific around the waterfall area and water features.
The flowers at Floriade are centered around Tulips of all colors, shapes, styles and sizes. each year there is a different theme. The plantings are done in patterns and pictures which can be explored, worked out, if you so wish, and seen better from the heights of the ferris wheel in the park. To tell you the truth, this year I didn't even bother to try and work them out. I just enjoyed the flowers and tent displays.
I thought these white and pink Tulips were lovely. Then again, I liked them all. You can see some of the under plantings in the closer photos. They included Hyacinths, Viola, English daisies, Daffodils , Poppies and Jonquils.
Same bed taken further back. these flowers must have to be some of the most photographed in all of Australia, going by the people there, nearly all if not all of them were clicking away.
This is the lake in the centre of commonwealth park where Floriade is held each year. The bed of Daffodils are finished flowering. Of course you can see that can't you.
Another view of the lake , across one of the tulip beds.
This purple Tulip wasn't sure which color it wanted, so it chose to be both purple and red combined.
A double white tulip.
My hand, I stabbed it with a knife while trying to remove an avocado seed. How stupid, I know very well how to do that and went ahead to do it the wrong way. My fault, but I did have a very sore hand for a few days.Hahaha.
A white fringed Tulip.
The picture below this shows a closer example of the cranes.
Red Tulips. I love red. There were many different shades of red amongst the tulips displayed.
Red red tulips, red English daisies and the smaller red parrot tulips .
These raised beds were in the Bunnings display area. They were planted with edible things, leafy greens, herbs and vegetables. I want these for my new yard when I move. They are a better height than many raised beds that I have seen and of a proportion that allowed you to stand and reach across to tend the plants, without getting down on my haunches and hurting my stupid legs and knees. Because they are metal they would hopefully last for many years as well.
I love Poppies. These ones are either Artists poppies or Iceland poppies. They are tough annuals so will grow easier than the big poppies.
Below is a closer view of a gorgeous poppy. These flowers say "Spring!" to me.
A big bed of little white daisies. Oh my do you think I can remember their proper name?
I know I should but........
A big steam powered Calliope that is at Floriade every year.
The next photo is taken in The Victory Memorial gardens in Wagga's main street.
I think this is called loropetalum?
It was in the sensory garden there.
Sweet Williams in the Victory Memorial Gardens, Wagga.
Orange Calendula. Wagga gardens again.
We sat in the park here at lunchtime and phoned the real estate lady to make an offer on the house we are going to buy. So, another memory made. Another memory to add to times spent in this park over many years of visits during my life.
As a child, feeding the ducks and being scared of the honking geese there.
Of running through here barefoot and grubby, climbing on the trees, putting my bare feet in the lagoon and poking the water with sticks at 10 years old.
Of the possum who made us teenaged girls scream and run when he showed himself in the tree that hung over the bridge in the main street right in our faces, late one night after a rock concert.
Of other photos taken of my own children playing on the play equipment in the park.
Of lunchtime meetings with my husband in the park for lunch, when he worked at the council across the road when my eldest son was a baby.
Of soft serve ice creams that melted and ran down your arms and shirt in the summer heat, bought from the dairy delight shop just around the corner in the main street, now closed.
Or my children, in their teens, laughing wildly as a bird pooped on my head while we had a picnic lunch of Kentucky Fried chicken there.
Of attempts to escape into the shade of big trees on hot sweltering summer days .
Or waiting as a child to stand underneath that huge old pine tree to see the Christmas lights turned on.
Back in Canerra one of my favorite Sunday things to do is go to the Kingston Bus depot markets. They have gourmet foods and plants, craft and arts, buskers, a food hall area, antiques and a junk place out the back.
One of the things I will miss when I move from Canberra is this place.
Kingston markets again. The still warm woodfired bread, antipasto, and strawberries are a highlight.
These next pics are of the orchids at the botanic gardens again. Don't know their names.
The color of this orchid reminds me of little eggs.