Tuesday, 19 August 2014
On my mind. Some experiences I have had and seen over many years with family and acquaintance who have had mental health issues.
Is it hard for you to handle?
It is hard for them too.
Do you want to withdraw your support and walk away because it isn't nice?
Standing by them and for them is what they need now, not your withdrawal.
Do you want them removed from your problem list?
Would you want someone to stand by you if it was you with the same problem?
Would you kick your son or husband or sister or mother out of home because you don't know what else to do?
Do you think that will make them wake up to themselves?
It won't , it will isolate them and make them feel worse.
Won't they do it the way you believe it should be done anymore?
Well ask yourself, am I the centre of the world and should everyone do it my way at all times.
Do you know their current behavior isn't all directed at you?
If it made you feel bad then you can bet it made them feel worse.
It isn't fun is it, it isn't nice, it isn't funny anymore putting up with their behavior?
No it is not!
Do you recognize that their strange behavior is because of the problem and they will return to more logical thinking when they are well again?
It may, but with help......?
Do you recognize that the problem may return at times of extreme stress?
Would you treat someone with cancer the same way or give them sympathy and support such as you feel you are unable to do with that mental health patient?
For Sue, Pete, Mike, Sandra, Suna, Jude, Mum and many others and maybe even me at times.
I love you, but it isn't easy to like.
I know mental illness is debilitating and isolating and I am learning.
I may not always get it right but I am trying to understand.
Thursday, 5 June 2014
I have been thinking this morning. At times a silly thing to do. I think today I should have an absolute no people day. Why?
Well I have been thinking about the personality traits of the people I know.
There are the ones who want to dominate.
They will share their knowledge , which is really a good thing to do. But sometimes they are the only ones who know anything, or think they do, and with that knowledge they need to prove that they know more than you do and choose to contradict you at every turn and bash you over the head with their knowledge. They are the teachers. They don't understand when you withdraw.
There are the cur dogs. They want to dominate. They do it by being sneaky and by throwing tantrums because they know that you will withdraw to keep the peace and shut them up by giving them their own way. They are the sort that will use underhanded methods to get their own way. Like a dog who fears to lose it's pack position so it sneaks around the back of the shed and up behind you to nip you unexpectedly to warn you off and let you know it is the boss.
There are the fickle ones. They want to dominate via seducing the ones they feel are the most interesting. They only have an interest in you when there is nobody better, or smarter or prettier. Then you are no longer important to them and they dump you to move on to the next person.
There are the needers. They maybe feel that they are doing the wrong thing and want to tell you all about it so you can tell them they are okay and doing the right thing. They keep you running in circles trying to find a solution to their woes , none of which they are willing to accept or create change to accomplish. They aren't interested in listening to you, they just want you to listen to them.
Then there are the dumb ones. They aren't dumb, they just want to get everyone else to do their work for them.They forget so you have to constantly go over and, repeat again and again, until it becomes easier to just do it all yourself. They just want to be looked after.
There are the takers. They take and take in every area they can. They want to take but never give.Goods, services, emotions, finances. They give a little but expect a lot to be returned.
The truth is the title word "symbiosis" is what makes the world go around. You have to give and you have to take, hopefully the cogs turn and mesh. Sometimes unevenly.
Sometimes, when you sit and think though, you recognize all of these traits within yourself, not just in others.
Sometimes though you also realize that the people around you never will.
Definitely need a no people day today.
Saturday, 8 February 2014
It has been almost a year since I have written anything in here due to my disgust in the advertising bull shit and spam that now fills my comments. I hate these.
Anyway, since I have been in here so little this post is an update for my own benefit, as I doubt anyone else would read it now days anyway......
In the past year I have settled into our own home again. It is so good to have a patch of dirt that belongs to us again and feel the security of knowing (a!l being well) that the place where I live is safe from some other person selling the property out from underneath us as happened previously in rented premises
My garden is growing and filling in with flowers. I get a lot of pleasure from being able to grow and harvest some of my own fruit, vegetables and herbs. I have chooks again, three lovely Australorp hens who give me enough eggs and some to share. There have been successes as well as failures with the selection and sometimes placement of plants, likewise with my dogs and chooks decimating certain plants and I have had to build fences and cages for some plants to try to protect them.
I have met up and spent time with old friends and family whom I love. It has shown me just how much we need others in our lives.
I am stepping out and making myself useful in the community which has led me to new contacts and friendships. One of these involvements has been with "The Wagga Sensory gardens " I started going there to try to help maintain and develop the garden. When I started in about March of this year it was a dry,dead, weedy place. I weeded, watered, carted mulch, scavenger for plants and made garden beds for them to go into. When the hot weather started I was skeptical that I would be able to continue. They got funding there for a 10 session horticultural course, which finished just a few weeks ago. Since then the gardens have come a long way in their development. We now have more garden beds, manpower came from the course participants and a watering system has been installed which covers much of the developed area of the gardens. I organized a group of people from the course to come along to the gardens with me on a Friday morning to work there. We sit and chat and have morning tea there as well.
As part of my involvement with the sensory garden I went along to another garden here in town, the demonstration gardens in Shaw street. This garden is a community style garden, run on a permaculture basis . I have learned quite a lot since going along there from the man and his wife who run it. I feel that more new friends have been made through my going there as well. They asked me to go on their commitee and I have agreed but as yet feel I haven't really co tributes much there. They have a wood fired bread oven built in there that I am interested playing in, I have made some nice DTE scones one morning there at one of their baki g days, but as far as yeast cookery goes, I have a lot to learn.
An old friend who I have been blessed with her return to my life has also gotten me involved with her work in Landcare. I have been going out to spend time with her and we plan seeds of local native plants and grasses that go back into the environment and to regional farms to restock their land with local species, sometimes even grown from seed collected on their own properties. I have learned to prick out miniscule seedlings that with love and care will turn into huge big eucalyptus trees, and tiny sedges that can be used to hold river and creek and dam banks together and which provide vital shelter for native birds and fish. I ha e planted wildflowers that blew away when it got windy but I still had their tiny seeds pop up and grow to a size, able to be handled and pricked out into larger pots to grow on. Worthy practices me thinks.
I have been back to the potter's club here, my old stomping ground. We just finished an exhibition in the local council art gallery here. I didn't really have a hand in the organization of it but the few items I put in for exhibition went well with a few nice sales of some of my work.
I guess there is quite a bit I have achieved during the past year. Personally and work wise.
I get bored, I get busy, I get cranky, I am happy with me, I have been broke, such is life eh!
I am still kicking and I am growing.
The coming year has some exciting events for me to move towards.
O.K. that's all this post.